I Don't Feel Anymore (A Meditation)
"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me-- watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill- fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly".
Matthew 11:28-30 (Message)
I don't laugh anymore, not sure when I stopped
Somewhere along the way life's worries and cares
Masked hope, sucked away joy
Now I don't laugh anymore.
I don't cry anymore, not sure when I stopped
Somewhere along the way survival became a focus
Numbed feelings, suppressed emotion
Now I don't cry anymore.
I don't listen anymore, not sure when I stopped
Somewhere along the way self absorption
Turned me inward, drained compassion
Now I don't listen anymore.
I don't think anymore, not sure when I stopped
Somewhere along the way reflection became
Merely a source of more worry, a source of more pain
Now I don't think anymore.
Love, joy, peace all those things promised to me
Seem elusive as the wind, yet something I long to see
Where are you Lord, so often is my cry
That I never see you weeping by my side
I can no longer do this in my might alone
The changes I need seem to be very far from home
Attainable for others, but never quite for me
I feel so tired and defeated and anything but free.
So this is where I start from
Drained as you can see
I've nothing left to offer, nothing more I can be
Do you really want to reach out, for someone wrecked as me?